Reclaiming My Creativity

Creativity means everything to me, and having dealt with an art block for the past 2 years, I've been so lost without it. 

I first started Raised Veyebrations in 2020, right after graduating college. I had visions of creating designs to assist people along their healing journey, taking shape through drawings, workbooks, crystals, and crystal jewelry. I only ended up selling crystals and crystal jewelry.

I love wire wrapping and the jewelry I’ve made, but the pressure to constantly produce started to take a toll. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with just selling crystals and jewelry - but for me, there was always more I wanted to create, and I didn’t give myself permission to do that. I’ll still be making jewelry in the future, but I’m also opening the door back up to other creative outlets I’ve been missing. 

Back to my journey - when I first launched my shop, I actually had a print for sale - A Trip Through the Garden. But when my crystal jewelry blew up on social media, I threw all my time into it and let my love for other mediums slip away. Because of all the attention my jewelry got, I was able to quit my job and run my small business full-time for three years. I’ll always be thankful for that chapter. And honestly, I’m just as thankful for the way it “failed” in the end, because it gave me space to rediscover myself and my creativity in a much fuller way.

A Trip Through the Garden

Social media convinced me that I needed to “niche down” in order to continue to grow my business. On top of that, I got caught up in the mindset of, "if I'm making art, I should be making money from it," which left no space for experimentation. I dreamt of drawing and even kept a running list of ideas in my notes app. (I just counted and there are 118.) Out of those 118 ideas, I only executed 3 of them within the first month of downloading procreate in 2022. After those 3, I reminded myself again that I didn’t have enough time or money to be experimenting creatively. It was better to stick with what sells. Thankfully, I was able to keep up with procreate, because I justified that I was using it purely to enhance my brand. That quickly became my favorite part of my business.

Later that year, I moved from Baltimore to Denver. Even though my online sales were slowing down, my motivation for jewelry making was picking back up. I started vending at art markets. This was new, exciting, and inspiring. By the next year, the burnout was back in full force. The same markets I did well at the previous year were “flopping.” Vending can be so much fun, yet it can also be physically and mentally draining. At this point, I had set up multiple weekends in a row by myself, making just enough to cover the vending fees. I left my last market in tears. It was coming to the point where I would no longer be able to run my business full time. I decided to put every last bit of energy I had into a relaunch for my online shop, only for it to “flop” even harder. 

It was painful admitting to myself I could no longer be a full time artist. I felt like a complete failure. I stopped posting about my art. I cringed when people asked me if I was still making jewelry. Then, it took me way longer than I expected to find a new job - failure again. I finally secured a job, but did not transition into it easily. I cried almost every day. Still, I felt I had no time or energy to create in the way I wanted to. Until this past April, when my therapist asked me, “when will it be enough?”, calling me out for always chasing the next thing and never being happy where I’m at. Aside from being stuck in a creative cage, I was living a life I loved, filled with so many beautiful moments, if I would just let them be beautiful and let them be enough. Our session ended, and I pulled out my sketchbook.

Let It Be Enough Now

It’s been 5 months, and I can’t imagine my life without drawing. More recently, I’ve also been called to writing and reading tarot cards. My list of ideas is growing every day, and when I bring my ideas to life, it feels like complete magic and alignment. I’ve learned I need to check in with myself constantly in order to have the energy to create. I need to say no to plans sometimes even if I want to go. Drawing, journaling, meditation, tarot, spending intentional time in nature, and all forms of connecting with myself are my top priority. Otherwise, I can’t be my authentic self.

Nature Portal

Now, for what I plan to share here. I plan to speak about creativity, the meaning behind my designs, and anything else wanting to be channeled through me. I’m currently preparing to start a series about my journey through the lens of the tarot, card by card, as I create drawings and a guidebook for my own deck. This time, I am creating for me, with the hope that my authenticity and joy for creating will spark the same in others! 

It’s not about how many good moments you have, but how happy and present you are in each moment. Your spark will always return!